Waiting + Being Happy

When I first started my job as a Peace Corps Volunteer, I was just beginning to learn the Mongolian language while at the same time teaching English to doctors and nurses in our hospital. This, as you can imagine, was a lot of fun.

And by fun of course I mean hilarious and confusing. One particularly confusing verb for me to explain, because I didn't know the word in Mongolian, was "patience." Actually, this is embarrassing... I still don't know the word for patience in Mongolian.

I tried to explain the word to my class and the best thing I could come up with in Mongolian was "Baych bain, givch bayartai bain." Which is a horrible translation, but my students understood what I was trying to say, “It's like waiting, but still being happy."

I thought about it after class that day, and everyday since then I have loved that definition more and more. Mongolians are very patient people, probably the most patient people I have ever met. It's like they are born patient!

Whenever I see a Mongolian baby on an 11-hour bus ride in the countryside, they are like little Buddhas. It doesn't matter how little they are, they just sit calmly, look around, sometimes smile, sometimes laugh, sometimes drink, sometimes eat, but never cry, or whine, or complain, or act up, or get impatient.

Nope, the little Mongolian babies, the big Mongolian kids, the bigger Mongolian women, the really big Mongolian men and the saintly Mongolian grandfathers and grandmothers all sit quietly on the bus from the morning when we leave until night when we arrive. Once we arrive in town the cellphones pop out with “bainuu?” and “bain bain,” which is “Hello, yes I’m here”, but until then being inside the bus is like being inside a Buddhist monastery with everyone meditating.

And of course, it goes beyond the buses - it's in everyday conversation. You can find it in words like zuger, margash, dara, za za which mean, loosely, it’s okay/don’t worry, tomorrow, later, and okay, okay.

If patience were an art form in Mongolia, life would be the canvas, "za" would the paintbrush and "zuger", "margaash" and "dara" would be the paint. Za, za, za. Actually... patience is an art form here.

Mongolians know that if something doesn't happen today, the world isn't going to end. And even if, as Mongolians say, "tomorrow never comes" then that's okay too.

Thank you Jen for the inspiration to share this. This is from my book Enough which you can read free here.

Why Great Presenters Are Boring People

Here's something fun, I just read an article entitled "Why Great Presenters are Boring People" and loved it! The basic premise is that if you look at anyone who is really successful (including great presenters) they are usually very predictable and "boring" people.

They are the people who turn in early, guard their time, say "no" to things, work for hours at a time writing or perfecting their craft.

This is a wonderful question to ask yourself, "How could you be more boring?"

What could you commit to doing today that, even though boring, might be something that will improve your life, your relationships and make you a happier person in the long run. Maybe it's running a marathon, writing a book, or meditating every morning for twenty minutes (that's mine right now).

Whatever it may be, embrace the boring!

Check out this presentation to see more.

How I Bounced Back from Losing My Job

The week before Christmas I lost my job. Everyone at our startup did. I had been working full-time with en*theos, an online learning startup, since May and really loved it. It was a shock for all of us when things ended suddenly, but now that it’s been a few weeks I feel like there have been several important things that I’ve learned on bouncing back.

Here are five lessons I hope might help you if you lose your job or are making a transition in the job market.

1. Know You Aren’t Alone

The first thing I wanted to do when I found out my job was no more was to be alone. I could feel my emotions retreating back inside me, loneliness, fear, confusion, anger, and for some reason being alone felt right.

Ironically, at the time, I couldn’t be alone. I was surrounded by people that I was helping at the time and so I told one of my best friends immediately and another the next day. It turns out that was one of the best things I could have done. It was very emotional, but it helped me get out my feelings.

2. Talk to People You Love

I found myself wanting to tell certain people first, people I knew would be positive but also real. I didn’t want someone to say, “It’s all going to be okay.” I wanted someone to just hold the space and understand how I must be feeling. One of my very favorite things, looking back, that a friend told me was, “I’m proud of you.”

I was completely caught off guard by that statement, so much so that I couldn’t speak for almost a minute. I didn’t feel the same at the time. When she elaborated she said, “I’m proud of who you are. Who you are today is the same person you were yesterday, and I’m lucky to be your friend.” Wonderful friends know how to say things like that; call those people.

3. Ask for Advice from People You Admire

One of the best things I did the following week was reach out to people I admired. I started with people I was close to including mentors and friends, but I also reached out and was introduced to new people who could potentially play that role.

I was nervous at first. I didn’t know exactly what I wanted next and thought they would put me on the spot, but none of them did. They understood it was a confusing time and asked great questions like: What’s excites you? What are you considering? I also asked them questions like: Have you ever been in this position yourself? What did you do that really helped you the most?

4. Be Open to Possibilities

The more mentors I met, the more specific I tried to be about where I was and what I was thinking about doing next. This led one mentor to email me back the next day saying, “I just spoke to a client and I think there might be an opportunity you would like!”

I was on the phone with her that afternoon and had my first client by the next morning for several thousand dollars. I’m still pretty astonished by it honestly.

5. Get Excited About What’s Next

It’s tempting to retreat to security and what we’re used to when it comes to our careers, but the truth is that there is a world of possibilities out there. It’s fun to play in that space, even just a little bit, and imagine what new things could be next. Questions like What does your ideal day look like, or, what would you do if you had a million dollars can be a fun place to start. If you answer them honestly, you might be surprised where they lead you.

So where does that leave me?

If you’ve read this far (thank you for that), you might be wondering what’s next for me.

I’m very excited about two things and I could really use your help:

1. Crafting Your Purpose - I’m creating a new 4-week course starting February 2nd called Crafting Your Purpose and I’d love for you to sign up and share it with others. It’s available on a pay-what-you-want basis and then in March will be available for a standard price. You can read more about it here.

2. Consulting - I’m currently accepting clients who need solutions in organizational development, online content creation, website development and B Corps certification. If you know someone who you think would love working with me, I’d love to meet them. Please feel free to connect them with me anytime.

I really appreciate your love and support everyone, thank you for your help.

I hope this year is your best yet!

Where Will You Be at 90?

Take a moment with me and imagine your vision for your ideal life.

What year will it be when you turn 90? Insert that year below.

The Exercise

The year is 20_, and on a warm Spring evening you lie down in bed to sleep out one more night of your long and eventful life.

You are 90 years old today.

On this one evening, your mind drifts into a journey across the decades of your life…the 2010’s, 2020’s and beyond...time has flown by faster than you could ever have imagined, but you have reason to be proud and contented with how you lived out each day and each year and each decade, to end up where you are now, in the Spring of 20_. There have been challenges and there have been triumphs, and you weren’t always able to stay tightly directed in your affairs, but you realize now that the broad course of your life, your strivings and your pursuits, have stayed true to your purpose. As sleep slowly envelops your consciousness, you cannot help but smile with satisfaction and gratitude for a life well lived.

Put yourself in that moment… in the twilight years of your life… and write down what you think would be the kind of life you must have led to allow you to conclude that it was, in fact, a life well lived. Try to be as concrete and specific as you can about the kinds of things that would have needed to happen to make it this ideal life for you, as you look back at life on the day you have turned 90 years of age.

I will share my answer next week!